HELP!!! Im in love with my cousin.. now that she knows she keeps me at arms length.. n im planning my suicide?

Don't do it. Whatever you do don't do it. Get help ANYTHING. I don't even know you and yeah your behavior may seem strange to me but to everyone their own right? But I care for you. Do not do it. One girl is not worth it. If it hurts that much harden yourself so that you don't feel anything. You are human and could benefit this world. No matter what life throws at you you buck up and in the end you get to look back and think to yourself "I made it." Suicide is the worst thing you can do.